31 December 2005

reasons I hate myself, yesterday and today

[in no particular order]
  1. I forgot we have a dog when we made plans to be out of town for New Year's. I didn't just forget to make arrangements for him, I literally forgot that we have a 95 lb furry thing that needs our help to get food and so on. I've had him for eight years, it's not like it's a new thing.
  2. For the third week in a row, I didn't go to the data center before 9pm on Friday. as a result, most of the backups ran several hours late, which kind of defeats the purpose of a nightly backup. probably it's not a big deal, but it might be, and it's my own fault for being stupid.
  3. I still haven't done the dishes, even though I know it's my job and I keep dirtying more of them.
  4. for no apparent reason other than either fear or laziness, both of which are doom, I procrastinated over a week writing a contract for a customer, with the end result that it won't get signed until the day we do the work next week. this is not a disaster, but it is not good business practice.
  5. I completely flaked on a household errand that I volunteered to take care of, then I blamed D for not following up with me.
  6. I stood in the wine aisle in the grocery store for at least 15 minutes last night, trying to decide what to buy. I couldn't make up my mind and finally left without getting anything. what the hell. it's not like I'm too much of a snob to buy wine at the supermarket, I do it all the time.
  7. this year I asked at least three people for their mailing addresses for the express purpose of sending them a Christmas card. I didn't send a card to any of them.
  8. I went to the farmer's market AND the grocery store yesterday and still forgot the flippin' cremini mushrooms.
  9. I constantly and consistently want people to do things to a standard that I don't even begin to meet. what. the. fuck. I have to stop that. now.
  10. I don't know with any certainty when to use "which" and when to use "that" at the beginning of clauses. I could look it up, but then I couldn't wallow in my own stupidity.
I am a moron. doom.

15 December 2005

la la la

I have a couple of days off. Three of them. In a row. It's amazing, I tell you.

So all I have to do is sit around the house and...actually no, that's not true. There are a million things for me to do. Jen has a list as long as a NASA launch checklist (and requiring only a slightly lower security clearance) which I should start on.

And I'm looking forward to it. My brain really has been off for a while now. Like I've been going to work but not actually being there mentally. I feel sorry for my colleagues but there are some things I'm just having trouble with and I know they're not permanent issues and fully expect them to go away when I have my own store.

Wow, that was vague, but I'm sure some of you will be able to read between the lines.

We went to see the Narnia movie last week. I was surprised at how well done it was. And its a good story. For the nay-sayers that talk of Lewis's heavy symbolism, well I call bullshit on that. It's a good story, well told and if the use of symbolism bothers you then why would you ever see any movies ever because almost all of them have some kind of hidden messages. And I'm talking about you and your right wing propagandist shit, Forrest Gump. Motherfucker. Gimpy motherfucker.

Hmm. It's late and I do appear to be genuinely giving this some fairly random stream of consciousness treatment which is probably neither good to read nor healthy to write. But what the fuck, eh?

Okay, I'm going to bed, it's late. LIke I said already.

Merry Christmas, one and all. Since I probably won't blog till springtime now.

Oh, and Happy New Year.

Valentines Day.

And Saint Pat's.

Hopefully I'll be back at this before Easter.


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